One thing I’ve noticed in the Body of Christ is that believers seem to think every conversation requires their opinion or their theological stance. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn’t. Has it ever crossed your mind that, nobody asked you? Just because someone shares something with you doesn’t mean they handed you the microphone and invited you to have your mic-drop moment of “revelation.”
Sometimes they’re asking for prayer or they’re simply letting you into their life. Sometimes they’re celebrating what God has done and want you to be happy with them. They didn’t ask for your analysis, your predictions, your personal fears, or your theology lesson. And they sure as hell didn’t ask you to become the Holy Spirit.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve become so comfortable calling unsolicited opinions “godly counsel” that we’ve forgotten what Scripture actually teaches not only about wisdom, but about humility, restraint, and minding our own business.
Yes, the Bible tells us to seek wise counsel. But here’s the question hardly anyone asks: What actually makes council wise? Is it a Christian label? Is it old age? A parent/caregiver? A close friend? Church attendance? Bible knowledge? A life coach? A bachelors degree? A therapist? A platform? A podcast? No. Labels don’t make counsel wise, neither does age validate experience. Church attendance doesn’t make counsel wise and even pain, by itself, doesn’t make counsel wise.
Pain can produce wisdom but only if it’s been surrendered to God and processed in truth. Otherwise, pain usually reproduces itself through projection. People speak out of what wounded them, what disappointed them, what they regret in life, what they’re afraid of, then wrap it in Christian language and call it discernment. Sometimes it isn’t discernment at all. Sometimes it’s fear wearing a cherry picked Bible verse that is deflecting their own personal hindrances.
I’ve received terrible advice from believers in the past. I’ve received life giving wisdom from people who weren’t believers that have enriched my life. I’ve learned from people whose failures taught them lessons they couldn’t have learned any other way.
Scripture itself refuses to reduce wisdom to labels. Moses accepted practical counsel from Jethro before Jethro became part of Israel. The source wasn’t what made the counsel wise. The wisdom itself did. That doesn’t mean every opinion deserves equal weight. What it does mean is every opinion deserves to be tested. That’s what discernment does, it tests the spirit.
Not every voice deserves influence. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” It doesn’t tell us to collect opinions. It tells us to walk with wisdom.
Paul says, “Test everything; hold fast what is good.” James describes wisdom from above as “pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” The consistent biblical pattern isn’t, trust people because they wear the right label.” It’s, “discern the wisdom being offered.” That’s a completely different filter.
Sometimes someone who has walked through addiction has profound wisdom about freedom. Sometimes someone who’s been divorced has learned painful truths that strengthen another person’s marriage. Sometimes an atheist therapist can recognize destructive relational patterns that a believer has ignored for years. Sometimes a brand new Christian speaks a truth the Holy Spirit uses to wake someone up. And sometimes a believer who’s sat in church for forty years gives counsel driven entirely by fear.
The issue isn’t who is speaking. The issue is what kind of wisdom are they offering. Does it produce faith or fear? Clarity or confusion? Freedom or control? Does it reflect the character of Christ? Does it agree with the truth of God’s Word? DOES IT LINE UP WITH WHAT GOD ALREADY TOLD YOU? Because wisdom isn’t determined by the title someone carries. It’s revealed by the substance of what’s being said.
The Church has also become remarkably good at confusing bearing burdens with managing people’s lives. Galatians tells us to bear one another’s burdens. It never tells us to take over one another’s decisions. Those are not the same thing.
Scripture tells us there’s safety in wise counsel and the same Scriptures tell us to aspire to live quietly and mind our own affairs.
Peter warns against becoming busybodies in other people’s matters. These are boundaries implemented in personal everyday relations. Not every burden is yours to solve. Not every situation requires your commentary and not every open ear is an invitation for your opinion.
Here’s what I’ve noticed over the years. Most unsolicited advice doesn’t come from any revelation. It comes from reflection or past fear. Listen, people project their own disappointments onto someone else’s future and you agree with it cause you are too afraid to tell the person to go kick rocks and now you invite the fear and anxiety in your life, which has nothing to do with Gods will and plan for YOUR life. They mistake personal experience for this big universal truth. So and so got burned, so now everyone should avoid the fire. Someone missed God, so now everyone else must be careful not to make the same mistake. Someone lived in fear long enough that caution feels like wisdom. Eggshells, it happened to me, it could happen to you. Please, just because the devil is cooking something up in the kitchen does not mean you have to eat it!
How about when they baptize their anxiety with a Bible verse? That isn’t always the voice of God. And here’s the dangerous part. If you don’t know God’s voice, you’ll start collecting opinions like they’re confirmations from heaven. One person tells you to wait. Another tells you to go. One says, “Be careful.” Another says, ”That’s not God.” Then comes the familiar line we’ve all heard: “I’m just saying this in love.” Or what about seeking out the next prophet and emptying your Cash App to hear the next revelation of “What God said!” Please do yourself a favor and seek intimacy privately with the Father and wait to hear what He is saying before talking to anybody about your personal affairs.
Before long you’re questioning something God already settled not because God became unclear, but because everybody else chimed in. Too many cooks in the kitchen gonna spoil the pot. And what if too many cooks throw you off of Gods plan and now you’re taking advice from ungodly wisdom and false council? One degree off from Gods will can take you way of course.
Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice.” He didn’t say His sheep need fifteen Christians to validate what He’s already spoken. Yes, seeking wise counsel is biblical. Replacing God’s voice with a committee isn’t. Before you speak into someone else’s life, ask yourself two questions. Did they ask me? Did God ask me? You’d be surprised what the answer would be in most cases.
Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is speak and sometimes the holiest thing you can do is stay silent. Discernment isn’t knowing when you have something to say and waiting for the moment to deliver it. It’s knowing whether you should say it at all.
The Body of Christ doesn’t need more opinions, we have enough of those. What it needs is more discernment, more listening to the Father as well as others. More people who know how to test wisdom instead of assuming every opinion is wise. More people who know how to carry burdens without carrying control. More people who trust that the Holy Spirit is perfectly capable of leading the people He lives inside.
Not every voice deserves influence in your life. Not every opinion deserves agreement, and not every conversation requires your commentary either. Sometimes the most powerful thing you’ll ever say is nothing at all. Sometimes the greatest act of faith is to shut up and pray.